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9 Surprising ways you encourage your adolescent’s porn watching

This is easily the most sexualised generation so far. No one can say for sure what causes it. Whether it is the ignorance or just the inability of parents to catch on, it is someone harder for kids nowadays to stay clean.

 

Research shows that children between the ages of 10 -14 make up 35% of porn consumers under 18. Another study says that 1 in 10 adolescents fears they have developed an addiction and may not be able to stop.

 

Psychologists tell us that everything we do, from the way we drive to the tone of our voice shape the way our child would act for the rest of their life.

 

Now, you may not be capable of controlling the internet, but there are several roles you may play as parents in encouraging these behaviours. Some of them include:

 

1. You’re letting them watch sexual content offline

Here’s how this works, they see some sexually charged content offline and become curious, so they look it up online.

 

Research shows that children under 14 who have intentionally looked at pornography do so more because of exposure to traditional content (such as magazines and most especially movies).

 

So generally, we need to pay attention to the movies we let our children view, the songs they listen to and the television shows they can watch. Parental controls are typically useful in this situation.

 

2. You get undressed in front of your child

As surprising as it may be, changing in front of your child can have significant effects on their sexual habits.

 

While research on the subject is scarce and limited, it is safe to know that between the ages of eleven and fourteen, adolescents are very curious about their bodies. It is the genital stage as Sigmund Freud will call it.

 

Your children will often ask precise questions. If these questions are not adequately or honestly answered, they would look to the internet for answers.

 

3. Your Adolescent frequently sees you and your spouse having sex

Much like viewing nudity or sex scenes offline or getting undressed in their presence, when your adolescent often witnesses yourself and your spouse bumping uglies, they become curious.

 

This is your chance to change everything, because if you don’t address all their questions and adequately educate them. They would find their answers elsewhere, often online.

 

4. Your Parenting Style is permissive or neglectful

Parenting styles differ from family to family based on how much you expect from your kids (demandingness) and how much you consider their needs (responsiveness).

 

We know you love your child. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be on this site. Whether you are highly responsive to your child’s needs (Permissive) or not (Neglectful), when you do not demand anything from your child, you are negatively affecting your child.

 

Research shows that children who are raised in permissive or neglectful families do not learn boundaries. They tend to be unhappy, engage in reckless danger seeking behaviours. They also suffer from low self-esteem – which is a predictive factor of porn usage.

 

5. You’re a tad ignorant on the tech trends and issues

This is 2018 people! Wake up. This generation is so much more different from ours. More sexually charged. Growing up, we had to look out for pornographic materials actively. But now, our children must actively *not* look for it.

 

Sex is in the media, in music, everywhere! 66% of child porn watchers said they weren’t looking for it but accidentally stumbled on to it online.

Gone are the days of staying up late for adult TV. This is the era kicked off with ‘twitter after dark‘ and ‘porn channels on social media.’ Your child literally needn’t leave the social media app to find porn. Let’s not be ignorant as parents.

 

6. You let them use their phones and devices late at night

Let’s logically consider this, what really is the benefit of allowing them to use their phones in the dead of night.

 

Is it the countless hours of sleep loss that result in stress? Or the increased chances of stumbling onto adult content, or maybe the opportunity of being pressured by predators to do things like sending nude images or videos.

 

7. Poor sex Education

The most significant way that you as a parent are encouraging your child’s use of internet porn is by not correctly sexually educating them.

 

Because children intentionally seek porn out of curiosity, the goal of sex education shouldn’t be to avoid the issue; but to tackle it directly.

 

So that your children learn about sex the right way and from you, not the school, or friends or porn.

 

8. You don’t know their friends

The benefits of knowing your child’s friends go beyond the peace of mind it gives you when you find out they are not hanging out with bad kids.

 

Showing them that you care for them, even in the trivial little things helps build trust. So they feel comfortable to bring concerns to you.

 

If you’re not answering their questions, then someone else is. And that someone might as well be pornography.

 

9. You don’t practice what you preach

It is easy to go about clouting rules to dictate behaviour. Most parents are guilty of this, but the truth is children do what you do and not what you say.

 

If at adolescence, they cannot see the logic behind the rules you make, then they will consider you a hypocrite. Your opinion wouldn’t matter to them anymore.

 

So if it’s no devices at bedtime, then we all have to live with that rule.

 

Parenting is a beautiful thing. If you are lucky, you get to hit the golden trifecta of parenthood; ‘annoying’ ‘mean’ and ‘embarrassing’ LOL.

 

We cannot overemphasise the importance of your behaviour, choices and parenting methods. Whether we think about it or not, we significantly affect our children and their ability to cope with and prepare for the future daily.

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